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OUR GIFTS OF IMPERFECTION

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Brené Brown, a contemporary teacher who extols the gifts of imperfection, writes: 

“It is in the process of embracing our imperfections that we find our truest gifts: courage, compassion, and connection.”

Chapter 12
Let Go And Hold On

Blindness for the color,
Comes when there’s too many running together.
Deafness for the notes,
Comes when too many overtake each other.
Tastelessness for the flavor,
Comes when there’s too many at one time to savor.
Distress for the being,
Comes when there’s too much doing.
Letting-go of great excess,
Is holding-on to great experience.
(SOURCE: Cliff’s Notes on the Tao Te Ching ©2022)

In Chapter 19 of “And: Making a difference by leveraging polarity, paradox, and dilemma,” Tim Arnold describes one of the five polarities in homelessness: 

Embracing our Brokenness AND Embracing our Excellence

These two poles of the polarity may grab attention – technically, both poles of a polarity must both be positive or neutral. Brokenness? A neutral or positive? Tim Arnold would say, “Absolutely, yes.” It’s similar to how Brene’ Brown has almost singlehandedly reframed “vulnerability” as useful. Letting go of what others think and own our story, we have more ready access to our worthiness. We are enough — as we are. Embracing the parts of our lives that don’t fit with who we think we’re supposed to be helps us accept our worthiness of love and belonging. We can take a view from the balcony of our story and the running and striving for worthiness – the constant pleasing, performance-proving parts of our identities. They may have served me and serve me now, but at what costs? 

As I have explored my physical healing and growth as a leader after a traumatic year after a pretty traumatic accident – I’m working to embrace the value of what and how to hold on, and the value of what and how to let go. It’s been sobering, humbling, and rich in learning.

We’d love to hear from you:  info@sixseedpartners.com.

Can LinkedIn and Meta Co-exist?

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Integrating Professional AND Personal: We bring our WHOLE selves to the workplace

By: Joy W. Goldman RN, MS PCC:  CEO SixSEED Partners

Background:

As I prepare to spend more time in Europe and will be intentionally planning self- nourishing time in the morning and work in the afternoon, integrating personal and professional needs,  I am becoming ever more aware of our false separation of “professional domains” and “personal domains.”  For example, the inspiration for this post came from a song that a dear friend sent to me in honor of our friendship.  “All That You Are” by Fia Forsström is filled with both/and references.  See the excerpt posted below:

All That You Are:  Fia Forsström.

“I am a sinner, I am a saint
This I have embraced
Enjoying every aspect of life
Perfection is dull
And unattainable
Leaving me craving what is real

We came to this earth
To experience it all
The messy and the beautiful
Show me that you are human
I will kiss your scars
Celebrating everything, all that you are”

This post offers an invitation for us to bring ALL of us to the workplace.

Stragtegy:

These headings are following our typical “marketing/ LinkedIn format” and, again, I’m noticing the pull to stay within the boundaries of some pre-defined box.  NOT!  What impact would it have if we brought music, all emotions, different cultural celebrations, and color into the workplace?  In coaching, we often observe our clients for how they are getting in their own way.  Might we get out of our own way, and allow ourselves to model and embrace “all that we are:” our messiness and our beauty?  This takes conscious effort, first—to give yourself permission to bring your whole self to work, and then to notice, and invite others to do the same.

The Solution:

SixSEED Partners has integrated music and theater in our facilitations.  The usual reaction is initially one of skepticism, and then something magical happens.  Within minutes, people’s monkey brains relax and their hearts and spirits emerge.  Yes, there are, at times, tears:  that happens when we open our hearts and are vulnerable.  And that is often what it takes for the “real work” to happen.

The Impact:  

Back to the title of this blog:  Can Meta and LinkedIn coexist?  Can we bring music and heart to our professional spaces and bring thought leadership to our heart-filled spaces?  I think we can, and we must.  I am keeping this blog brief so you will have time to listen to “All That You Are” and then share that with one other person. 

We’d love to hear about it if you do:  info@sixseedpartners.com.

Healing Drama in the Workplace

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An Application of Three Models to Heal Healthcare

By: Joy W. Goldman RN, MS PCC:  CEO SixSEED Partners

The Drama:

Let’s see if this situation sounds familiar to you:  You have a senior, C-Suite leader, or high-volume surgeon, or your flagship hospital CEO who is widely perceived as demonstrating obstructionist behavior.  In polarity language, they tend to over-leverage the “I” focus: they over-advocate for their organization/ service line/ system entity to get more resources to the detriment of the rest of the system.  They are perceived not as team players and are perceived as being an “urban legend” in the systemic fear of their power and intimidation.   You may hear the following spoken in hallways or in private zoom chat rooms: “Everyone knows that “he/she” wants total control and you best not mess with him/ her because there will be repercussions!”

The Impact:

When systems perpetuate these urban legends and make up stories around motivations for behavior, everyone suffers and healthy cultures are undermined.  There is toxic energy that is spent on workarounds, defensive positioning anticipating a negative outcome, disrespect to the senior leader with many talking behind their back, and a crystal-clear message to everyone witnessing this behavior of: “it’s not safe here.”

The Solution & Invitation:

There are three frameworks we use to help shift these cultures from unhealthy, unsafe and low trust cultures to engaged, supportive, healthy and safe cultures:  @theconsciousleadershipgroup ’s “Above and Below the Line;” The Collective Leadership Assessment from the Leadership Circle,  and Polarity Thinking—adding both/and thinking to traditional problem-solving thinking. When used recently with a group of nursing and patient care leaders, over a series of several sessions spanning six months, their comments included: “we now call each other for support;” “we are more solution-oriented,” and “we can be vulnerable with each other since we now share a common language.”

Let’s hear from you:  

We’d love to hear your perspective on what you and your organizations are doing to shift your cultures from blame and persecutor-victim relationships to healthy, trusting partnerships.  Please post your responses on our LinkedIn page or send us an email here.

Leveraging Accountability for Self and Others

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By: Lisa Hompe MSOD, BSN, ACC

Background:

In the current healthcare climate of uncertainty, complexity, and change, how do we manage accountability? That is a question I often asked myself as a former healthcare leader managing a very busy ambulatory surgery center, and a question that I frequently encounter as I coach other healthcare leaders. In my previous leadership role, I was often faced with the dilemma and tension of holding oneself and others accountable. Accountability can have various meanings to different individuals, teams, and organizations, and is often rooted in organizational culture, norms, and behaviors. 

Assessment:

Self:

As a leader, when the work was stressful or challenging, I noticed my own internal challenge of wanting to take the path of least resistance. I found it was easier to delegate to those people who were more willing to take on additional tasks while avoiding those that were less interested or approachable. According to Harvard Business Review, recent data shows it is a common dilemma leaders face in holding others accountable successfully. Difficult conversations and creating an environment of accountability require a thoughtful and intentional approach. Approaching things with diplomacy and candor can help to create awareness and develop teams.

Team: 

What was I showing and modeling to my team by not having these crucial conversations? I realized as a leader, I was doing a disservice to those that needed to grow and learn. How was I holding myself accountable? When difficult conversations needed to take place for undesirable behavior or actions, I may have been unintentionally communicating that only a select few of the team were capable. Self-awareness is a first step and a key leadership and emotional intelligence competency. 

Impact:  

I believe no one intends to go to work every day creating problems and issues. The stressors currently impacting many healthcare workers place undue burdens on an already constrained and overtaxed system. This context can lead to undesirable or suboptimal behavior. It may be possible that leaders are unknowingly playing a part in perpetuating a lack of accountability with individuals and teams. If we’re honest with ourselves and our teams, we all have blind spots. What we model matters. It is possible to consider the well-being of others, while holding them responsible for their actions. I learned that having crucial conversations and asking others to step up creates an environment of shared interests; it creates an environment where everyone feels heard and valued, willing to show up and do their best. I encourage all leaders to take notice of how working with team members to create shared accountability and responsibility helps foster a more positive work environment.

Takeaways:

For yourself, look at what you can control-

  • Assume positive intentions for all individuals  
  • Notice who and how often you may be tapping into? Are they often the same people?
  • Check yourself. Did you have all the correct data and facts before you acted? Ask yourself, what if the opposite were true?
  • What is the intention of your messages? And how does your communication impact others?

For your team, start with open dialogue and conversations-

  • Intentionally create coaching conversations. Learn to ask open-ended questions in a psychologically safe environment
  • Listen and be open and curious for the answers your team is providing
  • Be clear on roles and responsibilities and get feedback if people need more clarity, communication, or training
  • Embrace the challenge and use the support of a coach or colleague 

This is simple but not always easy. Learning to manage these leadership challenges can make a world of difference. How you define accountability reflects the agreements and commitments you are willing to make. What are you committed to? How do you support and grow others to be aware of their behavior and actions? What is the culture you intentionally want to create for your team and the broader organization? Part 2 of the series will address creating a positive culture in the current healthcare environment. If you’d like to learn how to increase the accountability of your team while holding yourself accountable in a courageous and compassionate way, contact sixseedpartners for more information.

Developing Integrated Accountability in Healthcare

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By: Joy W. Goldman RN, MS, PCC, CEO, SixSEED Partners

Background:

SixSEED Partners (SSP) was engaged by a senior health system leader to complete a 360-degree feedback process in support of the client’s ongoing systemic leadership and development.  This leader was brought into the health system to integrate service line leadership from a decentralized and competitive model to a more centralized and collaborative model.  The Leadership Circle 360 Profile (LCP) was administered after the client had been in the system for a year.

The Strategy:

The client had previously completed the LCP at another system so we were curious to see if the themes would be any different from his prior results.  In reviewing the results from 32 respondents, the client’s attention went to two variables:  there continued to be a theme of his strength in relationships and in his overdoing that strength with complying behaviors (for detail, see The Leadership Circle Website).  This leader’s development opportunity was courageous authenticity and achieving results and decisiveness—dimensions well known to him. 

However, his greatest concern was that the ratings from his direct reports was drastically different (lower) than other stakeholder groups. 

The Solution:  

As we explored internal and external dynamics, we found support in the theoretical frameworks of the Empowerment Dynamic, and Polarity Thinking which correlate perfectly with the LCP framework of reactive and creative modes of energy management.  Through coaching and much reflection, the client was able to see how his direct reports were placing him in a rescuer (hero) role and were presenting themselves as victims to system leaders, mainly hospital Presidents who were perceived as villains (see graphic).  This dynamic was evident through numerous cultural stories in the organization—not only did this dynamic occur within his organization:  it was prevalent throughout the system, with a displacement of accountability to “higher ups,” which was also convenient when something didn’t work.  Blame was a well -known song sung throughout the system.

The Impact:

From the client’s perspective, he was able to see that he was re-enacting that dynamic with his boss and part of his development was to be conscious of the roles he was playing and putting on others.  He started individual meetings with his direct reports and shared the distinctions between victim and creator, encouraging them to take ownership and identify actions they can take to influence what they wanted to create in the system.

The client was also challenged to lead a system-level leadership development effort where both/and thinking (polarity thinking) would be introduced and measured for the prevalent tensions of Centralization and Decentralization (system service lines AND local hospital entities) and Individual AND Team accountabilities.  In this way, he would broaden the leadership capacity of system leaders which would minimize the victim/persecutor conversations and support mutual accountability throughout the system.

Are victim/ persecutor conversations rampant in your organization?  Are you fatigued in having to spend time on these draining discussions that result in stagnation and energy drain?  We feel your pain!  Contact us to learn how you can lead sustainable, empowering change in your system!

Team Spotlight: Meet Cliff

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Cliff Kayser is the CSO for SixSEED Partners. For the last 25 years, Cliff has been a practitioner and teacher of applied behavioral science theories and applications – most specifically in the area of values and polarity values dynamics. Cliff most enjoys working in partnership with clients who embrace or are ready to embrace both technical and adaptive approaches to leadership.

He says, “With the commitment to supplementing adaptive with technical in a ‘both/and’ leadership approach, generative and sustainable results will follow – and those results are measurable.” Cliff is a founding partner of SSP and appreciates healthcare for its role as a catalyst for well-being and love – worldwide. Current healthcare-related initiatives include work with a foundation in the Middle East and North Africa as part of Ain Shams University to use polarity thinking as part of leadership development for medical educators. (See published research on this work here!) Learn more about Cliff here.